Transcript of the minutes
The thing at the ford · kept by Brian (wolf) and Gudrun (goose) · tingsvad.dk
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Printed on request. The minutes are complete in the sense that nothing ever entered is missing. They are also incomplete in the sense that nothing is decided. Both are correct.
| Year | Item | Ruling |
|---|---|---|
| c. 890 | The word "Denmark" is mentioned for the first time, in a traveller's account written down at the court of King Alfred of England. The thing is not yet in session. The cow is not yet born. The fog is there. | Noted |
| c. 965 | Harald Bluetooth raises the Jelling Stone and writes "Denmark" on it: the country's birth certificate. The thing hears that someone has written on a stone and finds it presumptuous. Decides to write "adjourned" on a stone in reply. The stone has not been found. | Noted |
| c. 980 | The thing is convened at the ford. The case of the cow: who owns it? | Adjourned |
| 1086 | King Canute the Holy asks whether the thing can be used for anything. The thing considers it. | Adjourned |
| 1241 | The Jutland Law does not mention Tingsvad with a single word. The thing decides to take it personally. | Adjourned |
| 1397 | The Kalmar Union gathers Denmark, Norway and Sweden under one queen. The thing offers to let the cow join the union. Margaret I does not reply. | Adjourned |
| 1536 | The Reformation. The cow is now Lutheran. Ownership unchanged. | Adjourned |
| 1572 | The river dries up. The thing stands in the dry riverbed all summer and makes its first ruling: "We are standing here." | Passed |
| 1688 | The land register records the ford as "boggy, but usable". The thing agrees on both counts. | Adjourned |
| 1711 | The plague reaches the district. The thing decides to keep its distance from the cow. The cow keeps its distance from the thing. The first time the parties agree. | Adjourned |
| 1837 | Charles Babbage designs the Analytical Engine. The thing orders one to work out who owns the cow. The machine is never built. The case of the machine is adjourned together with the case of the cow. | Adjourned |
| 1849 | Denmark gets its constitution. The thing considers whether it is a parliament. Concludes that it is probably not that kind of thing. | Adjourned |
| 1864 | The thing is not lost to Prussia, as neither side could find it in the fog. Counted locally as Denmark's only victory that year. | Adjourned |
| 1936 | Alan Turing proves that some problems can never be decided by any machine. The thing feels seen. | Adjourned |
| 1943 | The minutes are hidden in the river. Brian does not remember where. The minutes are reconstructed from memory: "adjourned". | Adjourned |
| 1945 | ENIAC, the world's first electronic computer, is switched on in Pennsylvania. It fills a room and can do 5,000 calculations a second. The thing asks it for one. It has no answer regarding cows. | Adjourned |
| 1956 | Artificial intelligence is invented as a concept at Dartmouth College. The researchers promise to solve the problem "over the summer". The thing recognises the tone. | Adjourned |
| 1969 | ARPANET sends its first message between two computers. The message is "LO", because the system crashes halfway through "LOGIN". The thing recognises it as the first digital adjournment and builds its own network, see case file 6. | Adjourned |
| 1991 | Tim Berners-Lee publishes the World Wide Web. The thing decides to move online "as soon as the fog permits". | Adjourned |
| 1990s | The fog permits. The domain tingsvad.dk is registered. The family's mail has lived here ever since. It is the thing's second ruling ever. | Passed |
| 1997 | The computer Deep Blue beats world champion Kasparov at chess. The thing sends the case of the cow to Deep Blue. Deep Blue replies that it only plays chess. The thing notes that this is what Asgeir says about the shield. | Adjourned |
| 1998 | A new wireless standard is named after Harald Bluetooth. The thing tries to pair the cow. The cow is not visible to other devices. | Adjourned |
| 2007 | The iPhone is launched. The thing can now adjourn cases from its pocket. | Adjourned |
| 2012 | Deep learning has its breakthrough when a neural network learns to recognise cats in pictures. The thing sends a picture of the cow. The network replies: "cat (62%)". Ownership remains unresolved, but the cow is now possibly a cat. | Adjourned |
| 2022 | ChatGPT is launched, and the whole world can ask a machine anything. The thing asks who owns the cow. The answer is 400 words long, begins with "That's a great question" and ends with "it depends on several factors". The thing considers making the machine keeper of the minutes. Brian objects. | Adjourned |
| 2026 | An artificial intelligence paints the thing at the ford from description. It is the first time in 1,046 years that anyone has seen the place. The chieftain gets a granite laptop. The same year the thing moves to Cloudflare, because the river was too wet. The cow is brought along digitally. | Passed |
| Next thing | 1. The cow. 2. Any other business. | When the fog lifts |
The bylaws
- The thing meets at the ford when the fog permits. The fog rarely permits.
- Any case may be adjourned. Every case is.
- Dogs, wolves, geese and other animals have the right to speak, but not to vote. Brian has objected. Gudrun has joined the objection. The objection is adjourned.
- Whoever brings a cow bears the burden of proof. Whoever brings two cows also bears the second cow.
- The spear belongs to the chair. The chair belongs to the family. The family belongs to the domain.
- The shield belongs to Asgeir. It is not relevant to the case. This is the only bylaw Asgeir himself has proposed.
- The item "any other business" is reached only when all preceding items have been decided. See § 2.
- Nobody may leave the thing while the thing is in session. The thing has been in session since 980. Toke the Younger has asked for a stool. The stool has been granted but not taken into use, as the case of whether one may sit down at the thing is adjourned.
- Women have the right to vote at the thing. The bylaw was passed unanimously in 2026, after Ragnhild looked at the seven. It is the thing's third ruling and its fastest. Takes effect: when the item is reached.
- The network may only be used to send "adjourned". All other traffic is considered a ruling and is therefore forbidden.
The minutes have been read and found consistent with themselves. — Gudrun, chartered goose. Honk.