Case file 14 · The minutes
The minutes of the thing, from Jelling to Cloudflare
The minutes have been kept by Brian since 1636 and by Gudrun the goose before him. Since 2026 they are kept digitally by the chieftain himself, on a laptop carved from granite. The machine has one key. It is called adjourned. The battery lasts a thousand years, which the thing considers tight.
Below, the minutes are woven together with the events of the wider world, to the extent that the thing has noticed them. The birth of Denmark and the invention of the computer are both recorded. Neither has affected the case.
Denmark comes into beingComputers and AIThe thing
The chieftain keeping the minutes. The key is pressed. Brian has signed off.| Year | Item | Ruling |
|---|---|---|
| c. 890 | The word "Denmark" is mentioned for the first time, in a traveller's account written down at the court of King Alfred of England. The thing is not yet in session. The cow is not yet born. The fog is there. | Noted |
| c. 965 | Harald Bluetooth raises the Jelling Stone and writes "Denmark" on it: the country's birth certificate. The thing hears that someone has written on a stone and finds it presumptuous. Decides to write "adjourned" on a stone in reply. The stone has not been found. | Noted |
| c. 980 | The thing is convened at the ford. The case of the cow: who owns it? | Adjourned |
| 1086 | King Canute the Holy asks whether the thing can be used for anything. The thing considers it. | Adjourned |
| 1241 | The Jutland Law does not mention Tingsvad with a single word. The thing decides to take it personally. | Adjourned |
| 1397 | The Kalmar Union gathers Denmark, Norway and Sweden under one queen. The thing offers to let the cow join the union. Margaret I does not reply. | Adjourned |
| 1536 | The Reformation. The cow is now Lutheran. Ownership unchanged. | Adjourned |
| 1572 | The river dries up. The thing stands in the dry riverbed all summer and makes its first ruling: "We are standing here." | Passed |
| 1688 | The land register records the ford as "boggy, but usable". The thing agrees on both counts. | Adjourned |
| 1711 | The plague reaches the district. The thing decides to keep its distance from the cow. The cow keeps its distance from the thing. The first time the parties agree. | Adjourned |
| 1837 | Charles Babbage designs the Analytical Engine. The thing orders one to work out who owns the cow. The machine is never built. The case of the machine is adjourned together with the case of the cow. | Adjourned |
| 1849 | Denmark gets its constitution. The thing considers whether it is a parliament. Concludes that it is probably not that kind of thing. | Adjourned |
| 1864 | The thing is not lost to Prussia, as neither side could find it in the fog. Counted locally as Denmark's only victory that year. | Adjourned |
| 1915 | The Danish constitution gives women the vote. The same day Ragnhild looks at the seven, and the thing resolves unanimously that women have the vote at the thing. It is the thing's second ruling and its fastest. | Passed |
| 1936 | Alan Turing proves that some problems can never be decided by any machine. The thing feels seen. | Adjourned |
| 1943 | The minutes are hidden in the river. Brian does not remember where. The minutes are reconstructed from memory: "adjourned". | Adjourned |
| 1940s | Frantz and Kamma marry and take the name Tingsvad. The thing hears of it afterwards and considers whether a name can be taken without asking the thing. The consideration is adjourned. The name was taken. Technically, it is the family's first ruling. | Passed (by Frantz and Kamma) |
| 1945 | ENIAC, the world's first electronic computer, is switched on in Pennsylvania. It fills a room and can do 5,000 calculations a second. The thing asks it for one. It has no answer regarding cows. | Adjourned |
| 1956 | Artificial intelligence is invented as a concept at Dartmouth College. The researchers promise to solve the problem "over the summer". The thing recognises the tone. | Adjourned |
| 1969 | ARPANET sends its first message between two computers. The message is "LO", because the system crashes halfway through "LOGIN". The thing recognises it as the first digital adjournment and builds its own network, see case file 6. | Adjourned |
| 1991 | Tim Berners-Lee publishes the World Wide Web. The thing decides to move online "as soon as the fog permits". | Adjourned |
| 1990s | The fog permits. The domain tingsvad.dk is registered. The family's mail has lived here ever since. It is the thing's third and, so far, latest ruling. | Passed |
| 1997 | The computer Deep Blue beats world champion Kasparov at chess. The thing sends the case of the cow to Deep Blue. Deep Blue replies that it only plays chess. The thing notes that this is what Asgeir says about the shield. | Adjourned |
| 1998 | A new wireless standard is named after Harald Bluetooth. The thing tries to pair the cow. The cow is not visible to other devices. | Adjourned |
| 2007 | The iPhone is launched. The thing can now adjourn cases from its pocket. | Adjourned |
| 2012 | Deep learning has its breakthrough when a neural network learns to recognise cats in pictures. The thing sends a picture of the cow. The network replies: "cat (62%)". Ownership remains unresolved, but the cow is now possibly a cat. | Adjourned |
| 2022 | ChatGPT is launched, and the whole world can ask a machine anything. The thing asks who owns the cow. The answer is 400 words long, begins with "That's a great question" and ends with "it depends on several factors". The thing considers making the machine keeper of the minutes. Brian objects. | Adjourned |
| 2026 | An artificial intelligence paints the thing at the ford from description. It is the first time in 1,046 years that anyone has seen the place. The chieftain gets a granite laptop. The same year the thing moves to Cloudflare, because the river was too wet. The cow is brought along digitally. The move is noted, not passed. | Noted |
| Next thing | 1. The cow. 2. Any other business. | When the fog lifts |
Case file 15 · The bylaws
The bylaws of Tingsvad
- The thing meets at the ford when the fog permits. The fog rarely permits.
- Any case may be adjourned. Every case is.
- Dogs, wolves, geese and other animals have the right to speak, but not to vote. Brian has objected. Gudrun has joined the objection. The objection is adjourned.
- Whoever brings a cow bears the burden of proof. Whoever brings two cows also bears the second cow.
- The spear belongs to the chair. The chair belongs to the family. The family belongs to the domain.
- The shield belongs to Asgeir. It is not relevant to the case. This is the only bylaw Asgeir himself has proposed.
- The item "any other business" is reached only when all preceding items have been decided. See § 2.
- Nobody may leave the thing while the thing is in session. The thing has been in session since 980. Toke the Younger has asked for a stool. The stool has been granted but not taken into use, as the case of whether one may sit down at the thing is adjourned.
- Women have the right to vote at the thing. The bylaw was passed unanimously on 5 June 1915, the same day the Danish constitution gave women the vote, after Ragnhild looked at the seven. It is the thing's second ruling and its fastest. Takes effect: when the item is reached.
- The network may only be used to send "adjourned". All other traffic is considered a ruling and is therefore forbidden.
Case file 16 · Change history of the bylaws
From 980 to main
Since 2026 the bylaws have been kept under version control, as the chieftain got a laptop. The history has been reconstructed backwards. All commits are by Brian. None have been reviewed.
| Commit | Year | Type | Message | Runes | Tag |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| a980000 | 980 | init: | the thing convenes. Case: the cow | ᛅᛏᛁᚢᚢᚱᚾᛁᛏ | adjourned |
| b1086ab | 1086 | chore: | Canute the Holy asks. Ignored | ᛁᚴᚾᚢᚱᛁᛏ | wontfix |
| c1241ff | 1241 | docs: | Jutland Law does not mention us. Note: "taken personally" | ᛏᛅᚴᛁᚾ ᛒᛁᚱᛋᚢᚾᛅᛚᚢ | |
| d1572aa | 1572 | feat: | first ruling: "We are standing here" | ᚢᛁ ᛅᚱᛁ ᛋᛏᛅᚾᛏᛁᚾᚴ ᚼᛁᚱᛁ | breaking |
| e1636gg | 1636 | fix: | minute-keeper replaced (goose → wolf). Gudrun: not found | ᚴᚢᛏᚱᚢᚾ | |
| f1799ja | 1799 | revert: | an unknown man voted aye. Rolled back | ᛅᚢᛁ | |
| 01943wet | 1943 | fix: | minutes hidden in the river. Restored from memory (1 word) | ᛅᛏᛁᚢᚢᚱᚾᛁᛏ | |
| 01969lo | 1969 | feat: | the network. Bandwidth: 1 word. Direction: downstream | ᛏᚢᚢᚾᛋᛏᚱᛁᛅᛘ | |
| 01945fk | 1940s | feat: | Frantz and Kamma take the name Tingsvad. No review. It held | ᚠᚱᛅᚾᛏᛋ ᚴᛅᛘᛅ | v0.9 |
| 01996dk | 1990s | feat: | tingsvad.dk registered. Mail moved in | ᛏᛁᚾᚴᛋᚢᛅᛏ | v1.0 |
| 02012cat | 2012 | test: | cow classified as cat (62%). Test fails | ᚴᛅᛏ | adjourned |
| 02026cf | 2026 | feat: | moved to Cloudflare. The river was too wet | ᛏᚢ ᚢᛁᛏ | v2.0 |
| 02026stool | 2026 | feat: | § 8: stool granted to Toke. Not taken into use | ᛋᛏᚢᛚ | |
| HEAD → main | status: | adjourned. 1 case open. Next item: any other business | ᛅᛏᛁᚢᚢᚱᚾᛁᛏ |
Case file 18 · The Tingsvad dictionary
How people talk at the ford
- to reach the fourth stoneidiom
- To be close to a decision without making it.
We reached the fourth stone, so we adjourned.
- to vote on any other businessidiom
- To turn up with nothing to say, just in case. Named after Halvdan.
- a Token.
- A stool nobody sits on.
There's a Toke in the corner of the meeting room.
- to pair the cowidiom
- To attempt something that is not visible to other devices.
I tried to pair the cow with the printer.
- a Brian-yesn.
- A no. Pronounced "adjourned".
- to gudrunv.
- To be present for 390 years without anyone looking.
Where have you been? – I've been gudrunning.
- to ragnhildv.
- To stand on the bank with the solution and two axes while others adjourn.
She ragnhilded the entire meeting.
- shield-relevantadj.
- Not relevant, but brought along anyway.
That item is shield-relevant.
- to stand hereidiom
- The thing's first ruling. Used for any situation one has no intention of leaving.
Shall we go? – We are standing here.
- foggy dayn.
- Day.
It'll be a foggy day tomorrow.
- summern.
- The 53rd day. The thing is considering it.
- downstreamadv.
- The only direction the network sends in. Used of messages one expects no reply to.
I've sent it downstream.
- to lapsev.
- To be resolved by the problem walking off and coming back. The thing's happiest word.
The item lapsed. The cow was back.
- to enter into the minutesidiom
- To write "adjourned".
It's been entered into the minutes.
–What does it say?
–Adjourned.
Case file 19 · Local facts
Tingsvad in numbers and fog
- 1,046 yearsThe age of the case. It is thereby older than the Danish constitution, the University of Copenhagen and most cows.
- 7 stonesThe stepping stones of the ford. The fourth is loose. Everybody knows. Nobody has done anything about it, as the case of the stone is adjourned.
- 3 rulingsThe thing's total output: "We are standing here" (1572), women's right to vote (1915, after Ragnhild looked) and the domain (1990s). Since then: none. Legally the first counts as an observation.
- 312 daysAverage number of foggy days a year at the ford. The remaining 53 are known locally as "summer".
- 1 cowNumber of cows the case concerns. The cow's age is estimated at 1,046 years, which researchers find "unusual for a cow".
- 2 minute-keepersGudrun (goose, 1236–1636 and 2026–) and Brian (wolf, 1636–). Neither plans to retire, as that case would have to be heard by the thing.
- 6 runestonesThe nodes of the network. One server, five clients, one of which is the backup. Total bandwidth: one word.
- 1 spearPassed down to the chair. Has never been used for anything but pointing. For that reason the tip is still sharp.
- 1 stoolGranted to Toke the Younger. Stands on the bank. Has never been sat on. The district's best-preserved piece of furniture.
- 1 keyOn the chieftain's granite laptop. It is called "adjourned". No others are needed.
- 4 cmHow far the stool has moved since 1010. By whom is unexplained. Toke denies it. The stool does not comment.
- 1 committeeAppointed in 2026 to investigate how Ragnhild could decide the case. Its first meeting is adjourned.
Case file 23 · Practical matters
The oak and the stoolThe ford · 7 stonesThe fourth stone (loose)The cow, Gudrun and RagnhildThe network · 6 runestonesThe fogTingsvad, approximately surveyed
How to find Tingsvad
- Find the river.Any river. The fog does the rest.
- Follow the river upstream.The network sends downstream, so you are walking against the messages. That is intentional.
- When you can no longer see the river, stop.You are at the ford. You cannot see it, but neither can the thing.
- Find the fourth stone.It is loose. That is how you know it is the right one.
- If you can see the river, you have gone too far.Turn around. So did the cow.
The thing's accounts
| Item | Financial year 980–2026 |
|---|---|
| Income | 0 |
| Membership fee (Halvdan, paid in any other business) | 0 |
| Expenses: 1 stool | −1 stool |
| Expenses: tarred rope for the network (1969) | −6 ropes |
| Depreciation: the cow (1,046 years) | adjourned |
| Domain (1990s–) | paid, by the family |
| Result | Adjourned |
Auditor's statement: "Honk." – Gudrun, chartered goose. The accounts have been prepared in accordance with good thing practice, which is to say not at all.Case file 24 · Notes
None of the above is true, except for the meaning of ting and vad and the lines in the minutes about Denmark, computers and artificial intelligence – those dates are correct; only the thing's reaction is made up. Ting and vad really do mean what they say, and yes, this is how place names come about. The domain is also real and has been in the family since the 90s, and it is true that Frantz and Kamma took the name Tingsvad when they married in the 1940s. It is the only moment in this story where anyone decided anything, and it was not the thing. The cow, Brian, Gudrun, Asgeir's shield, the network, the stool, the family tree, the dictionary, the accounts and the man who voted, on the other hand, we have never seen. The cases in the guestbook are real, in the sense that someone wrote them. They are also adjourned. Source 1 has not survived, and strictly speaking neither has the quote. Source 2, on the other hand, is real: the keys, inheritance rights, divorce rules, Thyra on the Jelling Stone and warrior grave Bj 581 at Birka are history, not humour. Ragnhild is invented. Her point is not.
